Even seasoned pros like Kobe Bryant and LeBron James make 'rookie' mistakes, right?

Just happens sometimes.

Well, putting things in that context is about the only way I can make myself feel better about a boneheaded mistake I made the other day.

The good news is that you can learn from it and not make it yourself!

Here's what happened.

I am a really big fan of Shannon Paul's blog. I subscribe via RSS and read it pretty much daily. It's possible I commented once on it, but maybe not.

Anyway, I feel like I know her and her style.

So, the other day, when she had a post about "sweet blog content" and scanned in a handwritten copy of her grandmother's carrot cake recipe, a few of my roles blurred.

Role #1 was that of CDM expert and a long-time citizen of Social Media-ville.

Role #2 was the service of my client, Yes To Carrots.

Role #3 was Raving Fan of Shannon's blog.

For a moment, however, I lost focus on keeping those roles separate and made a 'rookie mistake.'

And when you make a mistake in Social Media, it can get amplified really quickly.

What did I do?

When I saw the mention of carrots in her post (which I was reading in my Role #1 and #3 capacity), I just thought it would be fun to post a comment on her blog highlighting the carrot angle of her post and offering her some Yes To Carrots products to sample. 

You see, in Role #1, I know that you can make an off-relevant comment on a blog post ONLY if you've earned the social capital (i.e. the relationship based on participation/dialogue) with the blogger. 

Your only other choice when you make a comment is to make a relevant one. In fact, I've blogged about Chris Anderson's reaction to unappreciated and irrelevant PR pitches and how abusing permission can lead to big-time negative consequences.

In Role #2, I am always looking for opportunities to help spread the word about their products (which I love and the ever-growing number of Facebook fans and Twitter followers also love).

But, I lost sight, for that split second, of a critical strategic component to CDM-the fact that it's not about connecting with anyone who talks about carrots, it's about connecting only with people who are RAVING FANS of Yes To Carrots.

In Role #3, I said to myself, "hey Shannon would probably get a kick out of this."

My intention was pure. I wasn't playing Role #2 (even though I used my @yestocarrots address--another mistake due to momentary loss of focus.)

Of course, Shannon didn't know that. And she took me (actually, even worse, my client) to task for it. Big-time. Just as I predicted.

So, when I saw her post the next day, my heart rate shot up to 300, if that's possible ;-)

Certainly not the desired impact.

Fortunately, Shannon has her phone number on the blog and (after having the unpleasant task of first notifying my client that I had not added that much value to their brand that particular morning...never a fun thing to do), I called Shannon.

She was AMAZING.

First off, I apologized. A lot.

Next, I explained the confusion of roles in as genuine and authentic a way as I possibly could.

She was very understanding and this led us to a really great discussion of one of the more interesting elements of social media, which she called "false intimacy."

If I read your blog, follow you on Twitter, am friends with you on Facebook, etc., after a while, I feel like I kind of just know you and it's possible that I forget that, uh, you don't know me AT ALL.

She realized something that very few people realize about communication, but which is highlighted quite well in the book, Difficult Conversations (review from personal blog), and that is that when there is a misunderstanding there are mistakes made on BOTH sides.

I give her a TON of credit for this.

I made a mistake in assuming "false intimacy." She made the mistake in assuming it was a PR hack and not a fan contacting her.  I think my mistake was bigger, but hey, that's another conversation.

Shannon updated her original post and then expounded on it quite well in a follow-on post.

A while back, I said that bad situations will arise in the social media landscape. You can't avoid that. But, when you can control, a la Viktor Frankl, is how you respond.

I did my best to take my own advice on this one.

What the social media era is about is not pretending to be perfect and impersonal. It's about being real and authentic. It's about recognizing that, although people are trying to do their bests, sometimes they make mistakes.

But, if they apologize, understand, and learn from those mistakes, then, as humans, it is our responsibility to just move on...and go ahead and make new ones. ;-)

Obviously, it's not easy  at all for me to post on my own professional blog where clients and potential clients can read that I made a mistake that did a disservice to a great client. I am upset and very embarrassed.

But, I am hoping that those who trust me (or are thinking about trusting me) with their brand will believe and see that, over the long term, the value I deliver will FAR exceed any costs they incur.

And, that they will respect the way that I respond.

Venkatesh Rao calls me a "front-line" experimenter and I focus on delivering "cutting-edge Community Driven Marketing"

Well, sometimes when you are on the front lines/the cutting edge, you get whacked.

My butt is hurting a bit. Time to walk around.

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